Foolish - So Weird, PG

Title: Foolish
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters or the show, but I do own this wonderful little storyline.
Date Completed: 7/15/05

The moment it began, she made sure to let me know that it wasn’t going to last forever. As much as I knew she was right, I desperately wanted to prove her wrong. She believed it was just a fling—mere sexual attraction—and it would end soon enough. Maybe she was afraid to face reality… or maybe I was.

She set some ground rules immediately. She was always in charge. Anything that happened between us was to happen when no one else was around, or even nearby. Around each other, we had to play it cool. She was still the mother of two of my best friends, and I was still her best friend’s son. That was the way it always had been, and that was the way it always would be as far as anyone else was concerned. And most importantly, no one—no one—could ever find out.

I guess it was my fault. I became careless… sending little glances her way, or casually brushing my hand against her thigh when I sat down beside her. I couldn’t help it! Maybe she was right about the very thing I tried so hard to disprove—that I was just a kid. No, of course she never told me that to my face, but I could see it in her eyes sometimes. Every time I saw that look, I knew we were coming closer to an end. The harder I tried to control it, and to prolong our precious moments that were becoming increasingly brief and less frequent, the more she pulled away. It got so extreme that eventually, except for the occasional midnight encounter, she avoided me completely.

Finally, I did the only thing I could do. One night after the show, I pulled her aside and confronted her.

“Why are you doing this?” It pained me to ask.

Her voice was cold. “I told you this wasn’t going to last.”

“I thought you cared,” I said meekly. There was no response. She simply shifted her gaze and stared off, far away into the distance. “So what am I to you, huh? Do I mean anything to you at all?”

Quickly, her eyes met mine. “Of course I care. And of course you mean something to me. But this—this has to end.”

“Why?”

“Why? Do I really have to explain this? You’re my best friend’s son.”

“So that’s it. You think I’m just a boy,” I said bitterly.

She sighed. “It’s more complicated than that. For god’s sake—I’ve known you since you were baby. I watched you when you were young.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter. This isn’t meant to be.”

“And who decides that?” I demanded.

“I do.” On that note, she turned on her heel and walked away from me. I watched her retreat, confusedly blinking back tears. As usual, she had been right. I felt foolish—foolish for ever letting it happen in the first place, foolish for believing it would actually last, and foolish for trying.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, and it startled me. For a second I almost believed that maybe she had changed her mind, and come back to apologize… but I was wrong. It was my mom.

“Hey,” she said. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I muttered.

I knew she didn’t believe me, but she could tell from the look on my face that I didn’t want to talk about it. “Okay,” she said softly. “Do you know where Irene went? I can’t find her anywhere.”

I shook my head weakly, and my mom offered me a sympathetic smile before walking away. Trying to regain composure, I brushed away my tears and then, slowly, cautiously, I began to walk away too.