The Beginning after the End - House M.D., PG-13

Notes: Spoilers for “No More Mr. Nice Guy.” Title is from a song by Stars.

Cameron knows she should feel guilty, but it’s empowering somehow. Using him. Showing him that he’s disposable too. She tells Chase she’s off to see another annoying friend; he tells Wilson he’s screwing a whore. And neither of them is lying. Not really.

It isn’t what she wanted, or maybe it is. He wouldn’t be doing this if he thought she still cared, and the funny part is that she no longer does. It isn’t how she once imagined. There are no flowers or candles or soft music, no whispered I love yous. House never needed to be saved.

It isn’t beautiful and it isn’t meaningful and maybe it isn’t supposed to be anyway. It just is. She meets him in dark sweaty bars and half an hour later they’re tangled between unwashed sheets and rough embraces and mouths that taste of beer and Vicodin. Sometimes her hand accidentally brushes against his scar and her touch is softer than she wants it to be, but he doesn’t notice anymore. His eyes darken and this time it’s not because he’s being his usual sadistic self. It’s because she’s won.

Cameron isn’t surprised when she learns that he’s sick and so is she. She’s suspected for a while. This is the kind of sickness that has no known cause, no prescription, no cure. She doesn’t want help anyway. I’m fine, she says. This is the best I’ve ever felt, she says, and she laughs.

They don’t talk about it. They don’t talk much at all. He comes as she goes and she slips away so quietly sometimes that he’s not sure if she was ever there.